Integrity at Work – How Do You Stack Up?

 

 

 

 

 

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With the business sections of today’s papers and magazines reading more and more like a police charge-sheet, “integrity” is a hot topic of conversation in boardrooms, around water coolers, and in business best-sellers.

Integrity means walking the talk when it comes to living one’s true values – being authentic. Try taking this self-assessment and exploring how you walk your integrity talk when you show up at work.

Integrity is a lot like being pregnant. Either you’re pregnant, or you aren’t. There’s no middle ground. It’s the same with integrity. Either you’re behaving with integrity, or you’re not.

While integrity is not a robe that one can pull on and take off when it’s convenient, many day-to-day workplace behaviors suggest that convenience plays a large role in whether people display integrity or not. Who and how people are at work seems to change like the weather, the weather of convenience.

When asked, many folks will say that they act with integrity. But when we look at their day-to-day, minute-by-minute workplace behaviors, this is clearly not the case.

Why? One reason is that folks’ basic need for control, recognition and security gets in the way of integrity. So they move away from their authentic self, from their deeper inner values, displaying behaviors that lack integrity.

So do you think, feel and believe that you live your core values at work? Do you behave with integrity at work, when you are alone, when you are in relationship with colleagues?

1. On an integrity scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high), how would you rate yourself when it comes to the following workplace behaviors:

(a) gossiping
(b) bullying
(c) viewing or downloading porn
(d) stealing physical materials
(e) stealing intellectual property
(f) stealing time
(g) telling the truth
(h) taking responsibility for your piece of your team’s projects
(i) making excuses
(j) being direct, open and honest in your communications
(k) respecting others
(l) living your values
(m) keeping an honest set of books and following appropriate accounting principles.

2. Who or what stops you from acting with integrity?
3. When you’re not acting with integrity, what kind of self-talk do you engage in?
4. Do your needs for control, recognition and security stop you from acting with integrity?
5. Do you lie to yourself about acting with integrity? If so, why?
6. Does it matter to you that you are not acting with integrity?
7. Do you use the same definition to define integrity for yourself as for others? If not, why not?
8. Do you respond if others act without integrity and their actions directly affect you? 9. Do you respond if others act without integrity and their actions affect your team, your unit, your department or your organization?
10. Do you ever excuse, justify or rationalize acting without integrity? If so, when and why?

At the end of the day, integrity isn’t just about telling the truth about ourselves, to ourselves and to others – it is also about living this truth.

Many of us are quick to judge and criticize others who act without integrity. But truth be told, many of us are just as prone to separate from our core values when it’s convenient in some way. The operative question is: “Why?” What does acting out of integrity get me?

So, how did you do with your self-assessment? Who are you and how are you when it comes to showing up at work with integrity?

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(c) 2014, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

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Pressure’s on

 

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Northern Illinois University professor Larissa Barber, PhD, coined the term “telepressure” – the urge to respond immediately to work-related messages, no matter when they come.”

A recent study in Time magazine reports: “The majority of US workers (52 percent) check their e-mail during non-work hours, including on sick days.  Depending on your employer, it may be an unspoken requirement to respond immediately, but, more likely, you respond right away not because of actual workplace policy but due to a phenomenon known as “telepressure.”

Meshing work and home

The question I would interject is “To what degree is the meshing of your work life and home life affecting your health – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological?

Prof. Barber’s research found: “…those who felt greater telepressure, and therefore a stronger urge to check and respond to e-mails at all hours, faced some serious consequences.”

Knee-jerk reactions

Telepressure, in my experience, is a two edge sword – one edge, necessitating the other. On the one hand, our addiction to our devices creates a neurological dynamic in our brains, not unlike addiction, to seek more and more stimulation – checking my iPhone, checking my smart phone, checking my social media sites…non-stop, always seeking more, more and more. It’s the progressive drug that requires ever greater doses in order to satiate.

The other edge is the immediacy with which we feel compelled to reply or to respond. This immediacy often precludes what’s needed in that very moment – time to reflect, time to think, time to analyze and time to step back. This immediacy often results in less-than-optimal choices and decisions. Lose-lose.

Psycho/emotional health

Prof. Barber reports that those who engage in this constant state of stimulus and response, face some serious health consequences: worse sleep, higher levels of burnout (physical and cognitive), and increased health-related absences from work.

One unfortunate downside of always being “on” and “available” 24/7, 365 is pure and simple: exhaustion, stress, burnout, rust-out, disengagement and presenteeism (your body shows up, but you don’t).

The constant wear and tear and stress that accompanies always being “on” and “available” has serious psychological effects – suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and other stress-related afflictions such as diabetes, heart attacks, depression, alcoholism and drug addiction.

The body and mind cannot race at 100 miles an hour non-stop and not break down in some way, shape or form. No matter how invulnerable or  invincible you think you are.

The challenge for folks today is not how to connect but to disconnect. Our devices have become extensions of ourselves. Folks need to learn how to disconnect from their devices in order to connect or reconnect with themselves.

Other research tells us that spending an inordinate amount of time at night in artificial light, interferes with the body’s production of melatonin which helps regulate your sleep-wake cycle. People who use their computer or smartphones near bedtime are more likely to report symptoms of insomnia.

Crazy-busy

Many folks these days wear “crazy busy” as a merit badge. Many folks regard busyness and “living in the fast lane” as status symbols. These folks seem to think their status is in direct proportion to the number of emails they receive or number of meetings they attend. Writer Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time, explains:

“…overwork has really become pervasive. I’m not talking about hard work. I’m all for hard work that we find meaning in. But overwork leaves us burned out and disengaged butts in chairs at work and fried at home without the energy to do much more than flop down in front of the boob tube.”

Antidotes

There are answers, or antidotes, if you’re able and willing to make some choices. Some suggestions:

Boundaries

Create boundaries between your work life and personal life. Plug-in when you’re at work and unplug when you’re not. Coming home and “plugging in” as a way of winding down and relaxing is powerfully self-destructive. To think of “plugging in” as a form of relaxation at home is a delusion, pure and simple. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unplug!

Exercise

Get your body moving; oxygenate your cells, your brain, your muscles, tendons and ligaments. Exercise reduces and alleviates stress. Exercise is a natural antidepressant.

Spend More Time outside

Being in nature, whether you’re actively running or walking, or gardening or simply sitting is a natural stress reducer. And being outside, unencumbered by your devices, is even more so.

Focus on Your Breath

Research is showing more and more today than mindfulness practice, which includes slow, quiet and deep breathing, can support your mind, body and spirit to be in optimal balance, harmony and regulation. Every cell in your body responds positively to mindfulness and breathing practices. Mindfulness and breathing practices help to regulate the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, producing states of inner peace, equanimity, serenity, positivity and the like.

Engage in what you enjoy

Do what you enjoy doing without giving in to yours or others’ critiques or judgments. Have fun.

Watch your diet

First and foremost, do you know the science between diet and health, between diet and energy, between diet and well-being, between gut-health and overall health, between eating early in the evening and eating just before bedtime and how food affects mood, the brain and you nervous system? If not, spend some quality time doing just a bit of research about diet and health. Eat mindfully. That is, dispense with the “mechanical hand” that shoves food in nonstop, unconsciously and focus on the “what” and the “how” when you’re eating. Be as peaceful as you can – in mind, body and spirit – when you eat.

Monitor your emotional state

Continually ask yourself with curiosity (and this is extremely important) and not with judgment or criticism, “What am I thinking?” And “What am I feeling?” Asking yourself these questions on a consistent basis can support you to become a witness, watcher and observer of yourself in such a that you become more and more able to move away from dysfunctional emotional states into states of positivity, stability and well-being. This practice can greatly help to reduce stress and short-circuit the beliefs and the thoughts which take you into the dark or gray places.

Connect

Loneliness is a huge stress producer. Set your intention to meet regularly with a good friend (or friends) on a regular basis so you can get “outside yourself.” Explore if there are ways you can serve and support others in some capacity to move out of your mental and emotional ZIP Code. Connection is good for the mind, body and soul.

Take “FSBs” – Frequent Short Breaks.

Get yourself a timer and set it to go off every 30 minutes. When it goes off (be reasonable; don’t plan this exercise if you know you’ll be in a meeting, etc.) and when it goes off stop what you’re doing and take one to two minutes to, for example, just breathe, go for a short walk – inside or out, stare out the window, meditate, walk up and down a flight of stairs, shake your body in place, and the like. Taking frequent short breaks is a powerful way to master your emotions, reduce stress, become more productive and energized, work optimally and otherwise experience a true sense of well-being.

Questions for self-reflection:

• How often are you “connected” to your devices at home? Are you able to “unplug” at home?
• Does your spouse/partner ever react that you spend more time with your phone than with him/her?
• How knowledgeable are you about the relationship between diet and health?
• Are you in good shape…but not in good psychological/emotional/spiritual health?
• On a scale of 1(low) to 10(high) how would you describe your stress level on an average day at work, and at home?
• Do you incorporate any of the suggestions above into your life? How so?
• Do you go through withdrawal when you’re away from your devices for a while? What’s that like for you?
• What’s your relationship with being alone and with loneliness?
• Are you comfortable with silence?

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(c) 2014, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Truenorthpartnering

The Clover Practice™

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The Clover Practice™ is described in the book Staying Healthy in Sick Organizations: The Clover Practice�™. This practice is a means for achieving less stress and more peace of mind in the workplace. Three principles make up The Clover Practice™: tell the truth; always speak for yourself; and declare your interdependence (read carefully; not independence). The author claims workplaces tend to be fundamentally unhealthy because of obsolete organizing principles of hierarchy and patriarchy and command and control systems, the fact that too many managers and supervisors are not prepared to manage or supervise others, and the willingness to maintain organizational illusions.A practice is something you do every day regardless of the circumstances.

Let’s look at the three principles:

Tell the Truth, Always

If peace of mind and reduced stress is our intention, we have to tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, or inconvenient or we don’t look good. White lies and unethically cutting corners compromise our integrity and the degree to which others trust us. This doesn’t mean we “tell our truth” to everyone who comes along. But it does mean that “my truth” is just that. It’s my opinion, not universal Truth.

Speak for Yourself

Speaking to others about how things look from your perspective, history, memory and experience is a more productive and healthier way to be heard than telling people they are careless, uncooperative, lazy, incompetent, and unprofessional, etc. If you’re clear you’re speaking from your own observations and are open to and are able and willing to hear others’ views, you are more apt to be heard.

Declare your interdependence

No one succeeds alone – no one – even if they think they do. If you truly believed you need others in your organization – regardless of title, position, salary, etc. – to succeed, what would you do differently? You might be more inclined to interact and communicate with, and be openly grateful for, others up and down your organization.

Organizations are living organisms. It’s often a challenge to consciously view, or understand, how what you do (say, feel…) affects others – on many levels. When you understand these connections (and consequences) more clearly, you might choose to “do” and “be” differently – which produces greater harmony and collaboration than dis-harmony, competition and conflict.

9:00 Monday morning

Tell the Truth, Always
As a leader, manager, supervisor or employee, do you create a space or container where others feel safe and secure when speaking openly and honestly to/with you? Do you listen and hear? Do you seek clarification and understanding by probing and always digging deeper for clarity? Do you focus on the information, not the personality?

Speak for Yourself

Speaking for yourself means you discuss your experience – the who, what, where, when, why and how. You stay away from using “you,” “we,” “them,” “they,” “everyone” and the like. Literally, you speak for your self. And no one else. Your perspective. Your observation. Without  judgment. Without criticism.

Declare Your Interdependence

Where, when and how do your see yourself as part of a larger whole? As a cell in the larger body of your organization? With whom do you interact – directly or indirectly – inside and outside the physical (or digital) walls of your organization? How do you support others and how do they support you to create results, reach goals, problem solve, resolve conflict and achieve?

You might work in a “smart” organization. However, this practice can and will support you and your colleagues – from the mail room to the 52^nd floor – create a culture of safety and security, honesty and integrity, and inclusion and respect – all qualities of a “healthy” organization.

Some questions for self-reflection:

• Of the three clovers, which is the easiest for you? Which is the most challenging? How so?
• When are you most comfortable telling the truth? Least comfortable? How so?
• How are you when it comes to speaking for yourself? Do you tend to use “we,” “everyone” and the like (rather than “I”)?
• Do you experience interconnectedness at work (or elsewhere in your world)? How so?
• What is your comfort level when working with/on a team? How so?

—————————————————–
(c) 2014, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

Regaining inner peace

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Regaining inner peace

I’m going to suggest some ways to find, or regain, inner peace. But, before I do, here are some “symptoms” that can tug on our sleeve, indicating we have, in fact, lost our sense of inner peace.

1.    I move through my day rather frenetically, often inattentive of the activities in which I’m engaged.
2.    I discover, after the fact, emotions that were driving my thoughts, words or actions earlier.
3.    I’m continuously bumping into things, losing things, dropping things and being careless.
4.    I find it challenging to be focused on the present moment.
5.    I often feel “off,” “out of it,” or disoriented.
6.    When I’m walking, or headed to a meeting or other event, place or location, I’m more focused on getting there and unaware of my experiences along the way.
7.    I’m unaware of physiological sensations of tension or upset until they become overwhelming.
8.    I have lots of difficulty remembering people’s names when I meet them for the first time.
9.    I’m very “robotic” (unaware) in the way I moved to my day.
10. I listen, but I don’t hear.
11. I spend a fair amount of my time during the day living in the past or the future.
12. I sometimes find myself doing something without being able to remember why I’m doing it.
13. I eat with a “mechanical hand” – food to mouth, food to mouth without really consciously engaging in my eating experience.
14. I sometimes have difficulty remembering what I read right after I read it.
15. The calm and balance I used to experience is now very elusive.

Stress

There’s no question stress is affecting many of us, and it seems to greater and greater degrees as we move forward in our lives – at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Inner peace

The underlying theme that runs through inner peace is simply that “all is well with the world.” In this place, nothing or no one can sap our physical or psycho/emotional strength, make us angry, upset, jealous, fearful, sad, or the like.

The fact is, each one of us has access to inner peace – it’s inside us, it’s always been inside us. The question is, “What separates us from that inner peace?” So, to make it more personal, right here and right now, take a deep breath or two, relax as best you can, sense your feet on the floor and, if you’re sitting, sense your back against the chair and allow the chair to support you, and ask yourself this question, “What is separating me, right here and right now, from the inner peace that I know is inside me?”

Be open, allowing and accepting and seeing what arises – without judgment, without criticism. Just be curious. What comes up for you? Tell the truth.

In essence, inner peace is a state where you are separate from your thoughts. Simple. But, not easy, right? Inner peace is a state where we’re less externally focused and more internally focused. “Inside” is where peace, equanimity, calm, happiness, etc. rests, not “out there.” You cannot create externally what you want to experience internally. This bears repeating – you cannot create externally what you want to experience internally.

Letting go

What would it take for you to let go of the externals (people, places, circumstances, events – past, present and future) and “be” right here and right now?

It’s not about thinking

The challenge is, “thinking” can’t get us there. While the neo-cortex (thinking, rational, logical, executive) part of the brain is powerful, it alone cannot get us to the place where we experience inner peace.

Other ways in

Moving into the right brain (e.g., the insula) and into the body is what allows us to access inner peace. For many folks meditation is the way in. But, it’s not the only way. Many folks don’t have the discipline or desire to meditate. And, that’s OK. Research tells us there are many “real world” and practical ways to get there. Here are some:

Smile and/or laugh
Spend time with an animal
Spend time in nature, watch the clouds; just look out your window and see what you see.
Do something kind for someone (and it doesn’t have to be on the “quantum” level)
Take a 30-second break at various times throughout your day to be by yourself and just breathe (no need to make anything happen – just breathe) or stretch (not “gym” stretching, but kind, gentle, relaxed stretching) and be curious.
Look around the room (or area, if you outside) and name the objects you see – no agenda here, no making anything happen, no judgment, just name what you see, while breathing gently.
Use “touch points” – at various times throughout the day. When you touch something, e.g., An eating utensil, a doorknob, a computer mouse, a toothbrush and the like, notice where you are, how you’re feeling and what you’re doing – without judgment or criticism. Just notice. And, breathe.
Notice five things in your day that you take for granted – that go unnoticed or are unappreciated – and be curious what we be like, for example, not to have these things, or notice their fine details, or notice how these things benefit you, etc. No judgment. And, breathe.
Scan your body. Starting at the top of your head and moving down through your body, pay attention to the physical feelings and sensations. Don’t judge them as good or bad, don’t try to change them, just be aware of them. Be curious. And, breathe.

These practices can support you to access inner peace, feel more grounded and centered and create a harmonious sense of balance. See what you see, what you discover. Be curious.

Some questions for self-reflection:

• Do you experience any of the 15 symptoms listed at the beginning of this article? If so, which ones and how often? What thoughts, feelings, and physiological sensations do you notice as you reflect on these symptoms?
• On a scale of one (low) to 10 (high), how would you characterize your stress level on an average day?
• Is stress causing you mental, physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual challenges? How so?
• If you’re one who knows that you need to relax more, and you are either unable or unwilling to do so, what gets in the way? How so?
• Do you wear “crazy-busy” as a merit badge?
• On that 1-10 scale, above, how comfortable are you with being alone, spending time with yourself?
• To what degree do you look for “externals” to bring you “internal” inner peace? How’s that working? Is it a sustainable process? Is it tiring or exhausting? Exhilarating?
• Do you ever feel victimized by the world, e.g., people, places, events, circumstances…? How so?
• Do you spend a fair amount of time living in the past, or in the future? How so? What does living in the past or the future get you?
• Are you happy -really, really, really happy?

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(c) 2014, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering