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Monthly Archives: March 2015

Friendship for Sale – and 30% off!

28 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by pvajda2013 in Uncategorized

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“Electronic communication is an instantaneous and illusory contact that creates a sense of intimacy without the emotional investment that leads to close friendships.” – Clifford Stoll, Silicon Snake Oil

It’s not enough that so many relationships at work, at home and at play are derailing, disintegrating and losing their connectivity, intimacy and depth of likability. Now folks have the opportunity to create new relationships, poof!, by buying and selling “friendship” and “likes.” uSocial, an Australian marketing company, will save you the time and trouble of creating friendships by “buying” you a few thousand friends and buddies and, if you act now, at 30% off (really, this is no joke).

If you’re feeling friendship-deficient, uSocial will help you “buy” friends by the thousand on Facebook for a mere couple of hundred dollars. So, need to feel like a somebody by being the friend of someone who’s popular, or need to have someone like you, or needing to fill the void of friends, just ante up! Money talks and it says: “buy or sell your friendship!”

Trading for friendship and self-sacrifice

While many may scoff at the superficiality and inanity of actually buying or selling “friendship,” many of us actually do “trade” for friendship, albeit not with money. How so?

One way many folks cultivate friendship is by doing-doing-doing for others in the hopes of buying their acceptance and approval – their friendship. Committed and married couples trade with one another. We do this at work with colleagues and bosses, at home with partners, spouses, children and parents, and in the outside world with neighbors and others. We sacrifice our own self, our integrity, our time, our power and autonomy ,even our hopes and dreams, to please others so we can feel accepted, loved and “be their friend.”

Moreover, many sacrifice their life force so they can be accepted by someone whose “friendship” they feel they desperately need. They’ll actually shun relating to particular co-workers, or bosses, or relatives, for example, in order to be accepted by someone else whose friendship they value more and whose friendship they feel they sorely need.

How so?

Specific ways people sacrifice their life for others are: putting their plans on hold, doing for others, or owing someone something, out of shame, deferring from making important choices and decisions without first asking their “friend,” feeling guilty when making a decision that their “friend” disagrees with, constantly seeking approval, and entering into co-dependent relationships.

Controlling others to garner friendship

One of the most insidious behavior patterns folks use to “buy” friendship is that of controlling others. For example, do you ever act like a victim, feign an emotional or physical illness, or helplessness so a “friend” will save you, rescue you or “heal” you?”  Do you ever overtly or covertly threaten to withhold or withdraw your friendship if a “friend” doesn’t “do something?” Do you ever say “It’s your turn” to take care of you? Do you feel you need a “friend” to consistently complete your activities or tasks because you’re too stressed, anxious or overwhelmed? Do you offer friendship as a “reward” your friend earns for doing what you want someone to do for you? On a deeper, abusive level, do you threaten a friend with your own self-destruction to keep their friendship? Do you try to game others’ friendship by telling them how essential they are to your life?

Accommodating

Probably the most unconscious and unhealthy way folks seek to gain and keep friends is through accommodating, i.e., doing whatever it takes to please another in order to gain or keep their friendship. We accommodate when we tell others what we think they want to hear, do for others what they want even though such actions or activities might go against our own values or moral code. Accommodating is the most common way folks buy another’s friendship, short of paying outright for it, and sometimes we’ll actually foot the bill and actually pay whatever it takes to make or keep a friendship.

Why we buy friendship

The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.” Sir Francis Bacon

Very early, as infants and very young children, we have a deep need to relate and be related to; we need contact, warmth, and human relationship. At that time we had the capacity to be our True and Real Self, but our parents and primary caregivers, given their own imperfections and struggles (as all parents and primary caregivers experience; it’s the human condition) were unable to see and appreciate our True and Real Nature, our True Self. So, we interpreted their “rejection” as meaning: “Your being real means the absence of love, warmth, holding and security.”

The needy adult

So, in growing up, we learned to pretend, to be like them, to join them in their world – the world of illusion, of “lies,” the conventional world. As part of the human condition, most of us learn to become what our parents and primary caregivers wanted us to be, focusing on what they paid attention to in us, what they preferred in us, what made them relate to us (as we moved away from, and abandoned, our True and Real Self). Thus, we learned to “accommodate” and please them in order to gain their love, acceptance, and approval.

And now, as adults, we find ourselves behaving in often self-limiting and self-destructive ways we feel will get us others’ love, approval, and acceptance – friendship – even paying a couple of hundred dollars for a thousand “friends.”

Authentic friendship is an “inside job.”

Essence is a heart and soul quality. Living one’s life is not about pleasing others, having a full dance card, or bragging that we have a host of superficial “friends.” The foundation of a conscious, healthy and real friendship comes with accessing one’s inner confidence, value and worth, not from controlling others, accommodating others or responding to others’ controlling behaviors – at work, at home or at play.

The Core Value of Friendship comes deeply from within, not from pleasing or needing others. Facing one’s fears of abandonment, guilt, shame and low self-esteem and then “doing the personal work” to move through our fears and insecurities, to contact and allow our True and Real Self can allow the possibility of being and acting independently, with more confidence and a healthy sense of self-worth and value. This flavor of Friendship arises from contact with our True and Real Self where friendship is defined by quality not quantity.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

Especially the thousand you can buy for money.

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • How do you define friendship?
  • How would your friends describe their friendship with you?
  • How well do you know your “social network” friends. Really.
  • How well do you know your actual real-life friends? Really.
  • Do you ever use controlling or accommodating behaviors to cultivate and/or keep a friend?
  • Do you ever sacrifice your self, your plans, your energy, your time, etc., to keep friendships?
  • Are you ever lonely?
  • Do you feel your parents, friends, partner, and/or spouse are “genuine” friends?
  • Would you invite your friends to share in a holiday dinner with your family? If not, why not?
  • Are you ever critical of, judgmental about, or embarrassed by, your friends?
  • Are your friends trusting and trustworthy? As their friend, are you?
  • Do your friends allow you to be you?
  • Do your friends ever try to fix, rescue or save you. You, them? How so?
  • What was your experience of friendship like when you were growing up?

—————————————————–
(c) 2012, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

Listening to fix

20 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by pvajda2013 in Personal Development

≈ Leave a comment

 lecture3 lecture4

Speaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

I’m OK; you’re not

How often do you fall into self-doubt, or into a place where you’re doubting others?

When someone relates to you an issue that’s challenging them, or problem they’re facing, how do you respond? Do you respond in a knee-jerk fashion that communicates, “The way forward lies in my advice.”?

When someone is experiencing painful feelings, how do you react? Do you robotically assume that the person will never be able to deal with their feelings successfully by themself? Do you assume that it’s not OK for this person to feel what they’re feeling?

When a person takes responsibility for forwarding the action of their life, what is your response? Do you ever feel that they’re not capable of taking responsibility, or moving forward? In other words, do you assume that it’s your responsibility to “save” that person, to keep them from failing?

And, with respect to yourself, how do you react when you encounter a problem, a challenge, a feeling or the thought that you need to assume responsibility for yourself?

Believing in self and others

The question here is, do I believe in myself and others? Do I allow others to have their power, capabilities, and capacities? Or, rather, do I give power and energy to the problem, the feeling or the irresponsibility?

It’s important for us to be aware, to be conscious and to be alert about how we respond both to ourselves and others. It’s important that we check ourselves out and learn to think before we respond. For example, “I’m sorry you’re experiencing (what you’re experiencing – the problem, the feeling…). I know you can find a solution that will serve you. It sounds like you’re experiencing some deep feelings. I believe you can work through them.”

Each of us is responsible for our own self. This does not mean that we ignore or dismiss others. It does not mean that we don’t care about others. What it does mean is that we care and love others, and support others and ourselves in ways that work.

Listening to fix

One behavior many of us are guilty of occurs when we hear of another’s challenge and we morph into a “listening to fix” syndrome. When this syndrome is activated, we might respond to another’s comment by saying,”Why don’t you (follow my suggestion, take my advice and the like)?” i.e., the need to prescribe to, or “fix” someone.

To believe in others, in their abilities and capacities to think, feel, and find solutions and take care of themselves is a gift we can give and receive.

The antidote – awareness

A first step toward becoming free of our “listening to fix” filter is to become aware of it. Many of us have a flavor of this “need to fix” listening filter. It may also be that we engage in this listening filter with certain people or in certain situations. For example, you might “listen to fix” with your spouse or partner, co-workers, direct reports, parents, friends, or neighbors, etc.

The moment you become aware that you’re listening through a filter during a conversation, your awareness expands beyond the filter. It’s like consciously removing the filter that covers your ears. You can then “hear” what other people are actually saying. As you “hear” what other people are saying, you can better relate to their experience and engage with another on a higher level of true and real connectivity. At work, for example, you might even “hear” another as a “person” rather than a “function.”

As your awareness expands beyond your “listening to fix” filter, you can also make new communication choices. For example, you might respond to “I’m feeling upset right now.” with, “I hear that you’re feeling upset. How are you experiencing that right now?” or “What’s that like for you?” or “Can you say more about that?” These kinds of filter-free communications can meet the other person’s experience and open the door for the conversation to evolve in new ways, rather than as a “fixer.”

So, be gentle with yourself and give yourself plenty of time to discover and work with this listening filter. Make it a game to notice this filter, love and appreciate yourself for having it and explore the ways you can shift out of it. If you’re like me, when you do this, you may experience true and real “hearing” for the first time.

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Consider the following “fixing” filters and be curious if you use one or more of them in your conversations: (when/if you do, there is no way you can be truly and sincerely “present” with the other person):
  • “advising”: “I think you should…” “How come you didn’t?”
  • “educating”: “This could work out very well for you if you…”
  • “shutting down”: “Don’t worry about it; cheer up!”
  • “interrogating”: “Well, why did you…”
  • “explaining”: “What I would have done is…” (also “hijacking”)
  • —————————————————————————————–
  • Would your closest friends say you’re a good listener?
  • Can you think of a recent conversation where your “listening to fix” filter was engaged? What was that like?
  • Do you know someone who listens to you without attempting to fix you? What is that like?
  • Can you remember some of your earliest childhood experiences with either wanting to fix someone or someone wanting to fix you?
  • Did your parents or primary caregivers listen to you with a “listening to fix” filters How so?

—————————————————–
(c) 2015, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

BMW – Driven to Distraction

13 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by pvajda2013 in Personal Development, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

venting 1 venting2

 

 

 

 

Speaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

“My days of whining and complaining about others have come to an end. Nothing is easier than fault finding.” – Og Mandino

BMW – no, not the car.
BMW – bitching, moaning and whining.

It’s a distraction

How often are you driven to distraction, taken off your game or lose focus – at work, at home, at play or in relationship – due to someone’s continual venting, whining, complaining, nit-picking and fault finding? How often do you choose to allow or enable someone to suck your time and energy resulting in your missing a deadline, decreasing your productivity, messing up on an assignment or interfering with your pleasure – because consciously or unconsciously you’re driven by some internal mantra that says, “I’m your friend and I need to be there for you?”

Do you enable BMW-ers because you feel that’s what a good leader, manager, co-worker, friend, partner or spouse is supposed to do? Do you enable these folks again and again even though it stresses you out or leads to passive-aggressive behavior on your part?

So, here’s the deal. MBW-ers always feel better after they’ve had the opportunity to dump their stuff on to you. MBW-ers always feel better when they enlist you to carry their load. Why wouldn’t they?

How does my helping them support me?

The important question is, “How does your taking on their stuff, again and again, help you!?” “How does their sleeping better, feeling better support your experiencing well-be-ing?” In a word, it doesn’t. You don’t sleep better, feel better, become more productive, or experience a heightened sense of well-be-ing.

What actually happens over time is you begin to experience overwhelm, fogginess, confusion, upset, resentment and exhaustion – mentally, physically and emotionally.

If you ask, “How is their life changing for the better as a result of my enabling their BMW-ing,” the answer (if we’re being honest, sincere and self-responsible) is in all likelihood, “not at all.”

Venting is an addiction.

Most BMW-ers are very good at it. Most BMW-ers are addicted to their venting. It’s their drug of choice. Like most addicts, the capacity they lack is self-responsibility. BMW-ing is the venter’s way of avoiding taking responsibility for their life, for their feelings – at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Venting and denial

The venter’s strategy is denial – choosing to not invest time exploring their state in life. BMW-ers have no interest in exploring or admitting their role in creating upset or conflict. They have no interest in exploring the root causes of their pain and suffering. Venters hardly ever come to you and ask for support in gaining clarity about steps they can take to clean up their messes, become more mature in how they relate to life and living, learn what’s underneath their anger and anxiety. That’s what addicts are good at – denial when it comes to self-awareness, self-management and self-actualization. BMW-ers are risk averse when it comes to change and forwarding the action of their lives. Dumping – that’s their drug.

Most folks – if they’re not enablers and don’t thrive on dysfunctional relationships – will admit, deep down, their supporting BMWs’ venting does not work for them or for the venters. Most normal, healthy human beings have a felt sense that supporting BMW-ers is self-sabotaging, yet, are unsure as to what to do. They’re conflicted by wanting to be a good friend, spouse, etc.,  and not knowing how to deal with a venter.

Responding to a BMW-er

So, how to respond to a venter? How about, “Well, (name of friend and/or colleague), I know my listening to you again and again makes you feel better for a while. But, honestly, I end up feeling worse. I like (love/admire/respect/honor) you and I want to be supportive, but in my perspective it seems that your venting is not getting you anywhere. Rather, your venting is an addiction like sugar or alcohol that gives you a momentary sense of feeling better but in reality you are not taking responsibility for (the issue.) If you want support in working to find solutions, I’m happy to help, but I don’t want to be on the other end of your venting any more.” This is your opportunity to be honest, sincere and self-responsible.

Compassion, but what kind?

The Buddhist monk, Pema Chodrun, likens enabling to “idiot compassion” – supporting others to your own detriment. An honest and self-responsible response to a BMW-er takes inner strength, courage, empathy, self-love and compassion for the other person. The question is, “Can I choose to respond in an honest, sincere and self-responsible way to a venter?” Even if the BMW-er chooses to become angry or resentful?

It’s all about the truth.

The truth is, most folks balk when someone calls them on their stuff, on their addictions, and refuses to enable them any longer. So, are you willing to face their upset, to allow them to be mad at you?

The truth is, listening to MBW-ers spew their stuff and vent is not loving yourself, and, frankly, is not loving to them. What is loving and compassionate is for you to stop enabling their addiction, even if that’s tough for them to hear.

The truth is, you may actually lose a friend or colleague if you call them on their stuff. How does that resonate with you?

The truth is, friendship – honest, conscious and healthy relationships – is a two-way street. Many BMW-ers drive on one-way streets using you for their selfish gain with no regard for you as a friend, colleague or partner. They drive through life at work, at home, at play and in relationship – with a blurred vision.

The truth is, if your friend, the venter, pulls their friendship because “you don’t want to listen to me,” there never was a friendship – a dysfunctional relationship with a “victim,” but not a friendship.

So, what do you think? Do you choose to hang on and enable an MBW-er in a co-dependent and unhealthy relationship, or engage with real and true friends, colleagues and partners with whom you can learn and grow, extending mutual support and respect to one another?

“Take your life in your own hands and see what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” – Erica Jong

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Are you the “go-to” person others seek out to dump and vent? How so? And, why?
  • Do you “get something” from others seeking you out to vent? Are you addicted to others’ venting?
  • Do you encourage and support others to explore solutions for their issues rather than simply allowing them to vent?
  • Do you feel stressed by others’ venting? If so, is this OK? Do you put up with it? Why?
  • Are you a venter? What would friends, colleagues or your partner say?
  • Are you uncomfortable confronting others about their venting. Can you tell them you won’t passively listen to their venting?
  • If you are a BMW-er, what does venting get you? How has venting honestly changed your life for the better?
  • Do you prefer to vent rather than explore real solutions to your life’s challenges?
  • How did you learn about venting when you were growing up?

—————————————————–
(c) 2015, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

The Need to Figure Everything Out

07 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by pvajda2013 in Personal Development, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

thinkerSpeaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” – Maya Angelou

Developmentally, most folks grow up in a “cause and effect” environment. We learn that when this happens, or you do that, something results and vice-versa. Our brains become wired to this phenomenon – cause, effect and connections. We search for patterns with people, places, events and circumstances – at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

“Why?” and the world of illusion

Along the way, we become curious, not only wanting to understand the “what” and “how” of things, but the “why as well.

So, what happens when we don-t know why? What happens if there is no pattern? What happens when there is no connection, no “permanence?” How do we respond/react?

Essentially, most folks attempt to create patterns when there are none – they create illusions. Illusions are connections, causes, and otherwise nonsensical and irrational “reasons” to explain “why.” Many of us are unable or unwilling to live without answers. We have to have some grasp on the nature of global warming, intense storms, or earthquakes or tsunamis. We want to know why someone was affected and the person next door went untouched. Why? Why? Why?

Living with the unknown

For many folks, living with the unknown is uncomfortable, even unfathomable. The unknown for them is anxiety-producing and raises feelings of disharmony, imbalance, anxiety and even deep fear. It’s like taking a psycho-emotional bungee jump without a cord. It’s about the need for control. And when folks feel out of control, well, it’s akin to dying. The unknown is the antithesis of feeling whole, complete and “safe” or “held.”

So, rather than live with the unknown, we have this tendency to explain what happened with a “faux reality” which gives us a “faux” sense of comfort, control and safety. We construct an illusion and substitute our illusion for reality. Historically, folks have pointed to “Natural Law,” “Natural Science,” “God’s will,” “Karma” and the like for explanations, for comfort, for the feeling of control in the face of the unknown.

The antidote to not knowing

The ironic piece of this puzzle – the illusions we create to make ourself feel safe in the world – is also the cause of our pain and suffering. Letting go of the illusion and being comfortable with the unknown – not knowing – is what ultimately results in growth, freedom and empowerment.

Not knowing is an opportunity to take a deeper look inside – to explore and examine what’s underneath our wanting to know and the effect this wanting has on our life  – at work, at home, at play and in  relationship.

Intellectually, we grasp for answers – our developmental, neuro-biological, psychological process at work. On a soul level, however, there can be a greater sense of distress about encountering the unknown. This distress is actually the “way in” to comfort, safety and security. Exploring our need to be the master of the unknown, exploring the “stories” and illusions we create to explain the unknown – explorations which are often challenging – can bring us to a place where we can rest with not knowing.

As the Biblical story of Job points out, our lack of understanding can lead us to trust.

Our constant need to figure everything out, our constant self-sabotaging mantra that we “should” be able to figure everything out, only leads to greater pain and suffering.

We often hear “trust the process.” And it’s an operating principle worth taking to heart. Life is moving at ninety miles an hour, natural phenomena abound daily, and social dynamics occur in the blink of an eye. The mind is not always capable of understanding, of having all the answers. So, stop efforting to figure everything out.

It’s not to say we stop trying to understand life. But it does mean that we take the time to reflect on the inner upset and havoc we inflict on ourselves by wanting to know everything. It means that true well-be-ing does not depend on being a know-it-all.

The obsession with trying to figure everything out actually takes us away from our experience in the moment. Preoccupied with figuring everything out keeps us from the inner space – below our neck – where we can learn and grow from our immediate experience by being present to it, being consciously aware of what we feel and sense, not think.

Engaging in the mental gymnastics of trying to figure everything out keeps us from actually having an experience, feeling that experience, being in the experience, instead of being next to our experience. And, even if we think we have it all figured out, it’s usually but a short time before “buyer’s remorse” sets in – spending precious time and energy wondering if we’re right, or feeling guilty, blaming, or stressed in some way that we may not have the answer, or the right answer.

Rather, if we set our intention to do our best and to learn on the fly, in the moment, we’re more apt to understand not only the “why,” but the “what” and “how” from another, different, more realistic perspective.

When we “are” the experience, inside it, we don’t need to make assumptions about what’s right. We have an intuition, and inner knowing that, curiously, arises without having to figure it out.

When we are the experience, we give up the tendency to allow the past to predict the present; we allow context, the experience itself, to guide us. We can reflect on the past, even look for patterns, but without having to have a right answer.

We’ve all had the experience of discovering how wrong our assumptions can be. And we’ve also had the experience of self-sabotage when we allow our assumptions get in the way.

Surrender and letting go

Surrender and letting go, as uncomfortable as that may sound and feel, inevitably allow us to meet our experience, naturally, without guilt, without shame, without stress, without blame and without pain and suffering.

Surrender and letting go are aspects of trust – not resignation, despair, or giving up – but trust in the knowing that one’s life force, not mind, is trustworthy, that there is no real reason to struggle or to effort to figure everything out.

“Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation.” – Eileen Caddy

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Do you find yourself resisting your experience much of the time? How do you resist? Why do you resist?
  • Have you ever just surrendered and let go? What was that like for you?
  • How did you learn about trust as you were growing up?
  • Have you ever known exactly what to do without having had to figure it out? What was that experience like?
  • Do you engage in constant research, deliberation or obsessing when you have a decision to make?
  • Do you trust your higher self, your inner intelligence?
  • Do you think all clarity comes from inside your mind?
  • Can you trust that your life circumstances, even though you can’t always explain them, are here for your awakening? How so?

—————————————————–
(c) 2015, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

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