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The Music of Your Life
Each of us is a work in progress. No one has “arrived.” We each compose the music of our own life.

The Disconnect
I remember once when I just began doing my personal psycho-emotional-spiritual work, one of my “teachers” suggested my “music” and “notes” may not be on the same page and perhaps this was something I might want to explore. I did.

What I discovered was a disconnect. Thus, my journey and work that continues to this day.

My take is for each of us, from time to time, our music does not reflect the notes on the page. When this occurs, it’s because we’re experiencing a kind of imbalance –  we’re out of harmony with our Self – in our life at work, at home, at play or in our relationship.

What is Harmony?
Harmony is a state of alignment or congruence among four elements: what we say, what we think, what we feel and what we do. Harmony arises when we experience alignment and congruity among our thoughts, feelings, actions and words.

Am I in Harmony?
A question I now explore consistently.

One way to become consciously aware of the degree to which we are or aren’t experiencing harmony is to sit quietly and reflect on our lives, where we feel grounded, peaceful, at ease and in sync with our Self – a conscious effort to explore how we feel about, think about, act around (or about) and speak about our various life areas, e.g., finances , career and livelihood, relationships at work, partnership and intimacy, personal environment and organization, personal, professional and spiritual development, health and wellness, family and friends and play and recreation.

When I’m not in Harmony
Imbalance and disharmony point to disconnects in the way we think, feel, speak about or act with respect to any of these life areas. For example, if I feel one way or think one way about money and yet my relationship to money is counter to how I think and feel about it, I’m bound to experience disharmony. If my behavior towards my colleagues, my friends, (former) spouse or partner in public differs from how I speak about them in private, when out of sight, I’m bound to be experiencing disharmony. So, for me, the question always is, “Does my music reflect the notes on the page called “me?” Are my notes out of sync? Off Key?

Folks who seem to be the most distressed, overwhelmed, confused, bored, frustrated, angry, or lost are most usually those whose music is out of tune – living a life that is out of tune.

In addition, when we experience disharmony with others, it’s usually because we’re not in harmony with ourselves. When we’re in harmony with our Self, we often find it quite easy to be in harmony with others – at work, at home, at play and in our relationships.

Feeling “out of sorts,” “foggy,” frustrated, lost or confused, most often reflects a state wherein we experience a disequilibrium among our mind, body and spirit – or head, heart and soul – between what we are thinking, feeling, saying or doing.

The major downside of being in a state of disharmony or disequilibrium is that, in this place, we often make unwise and unhealthy decisions or choices – at work, at home, at play and in your relationships. Disharmony results in our consistently sending ourselves mixed messages – messages that lead to confusion and self-doubt.

If we look back on some recent decisions that turned out to be self-defeating, self-sabotaging or unwise, there’s a good chance we lacked alignment how we were thinking, feeling and speaking. Personal, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth happens when we take time to consciously inquire into our internal conflicts – where disharmony lives.

Being in Harmony
When we experience harmony within – when our thoughts, words, deeds and feelings are in sync – we never have to look “outside” to blame, find fault, judge and criticize someone or some thing harshly. When we’re in harmony with our Self, we walk through life with a calmness, sense of inner peace and humility that says “all is right in the world” – our world within and the world without.

When we experience harmony, our song reflects balance and equanimity. Our notes are written with gentleness, mildness, respect, humility, modesty, tolerance and forgiveness. Inner harmony is what allows us to experience our soul qualities – courage, strength, wisdom, will, confidence, motivation, self-discipline, inner peace and love, compassion – qualities that consistently lead us to “right knowing,” “right action,”and “right understanding.”

Harmony supports us to live a life of honesty, integrity, sincerity and self-responsibility – no need for fakeness, phoniness, or deception. Harmony allows us to be at peace within our own skin.

No One Can Compose Our Music
Each of us is the composer of our own life’s music. We are the one who can choose to – or not – take responsibility when we hear a discordant note. And we, and only we, can then act – or not – to reduce or eliminate the discord in the melody of our life.

So, right here and right now, how’s your music? Do you need to change or discard any notes? Which one?

Some Questions for self-refection:

  • What creates disharmony in your life? Hoe so?
  • Do your actions reflect your feelings? Do your words mirror your actions? Are you always at odds with your Self? How so?
  • Do you tell yourself lies? About whom or what? And why? What does lying get you?
  • Is the music of your life harmonious or discordant? Where, and why?
  • Does disharmony in your life create conflict with others – at work, at home at play or in your relationship?
  • How do you promote harmony within your Self? Do you “walk your harmony talk?”
  • What does disharmony look like in your life? How would others describe a disharmonious “you?”
  • Do you tend to blame others for your disharmony? Why? Really, why?
  • Can you recall experiencing harmony in and around your family when you were growing up?

    (c) 2019, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

    I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

    What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

    I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

    I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, or pvajda(at)

    You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.