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“Only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained, and a person can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul.” – As A Man Thinketh
The classic book Acres of Diamonds is the story of a person who sold his home and land to travel far and wide in search of diamonds, only to die penniless. As the story goes, the new owner discovered diamonds on the very property that the old owner had ignored.
I’m often curious when I come across folks who act in similar ways whenever they try to “fix” something in their lives – at work, at home, at play or in their relationship. Whether it’s happiness, peace of mind, or a greater sense of self-worth, self-esteem or love they seek, they seem to spend an enormous amount of time and energy looking “outside” themselves to search for the answers, the “fix.”
They look to their spouse or partner, their friends (both “people” friends and “object “friends such as a new, expensive car, boat, clothes, food, alcohol, sugar, the latest plasma TV, gambling, the country club membership, etc.), children, or parents to fill the “hole,” the void, i.e., their inner sense of deficiency. They become workaholics or obsessed with exercise, or shopping, or “going out,” for example, always expecting and hoping the answer will, poof!, come from their pursuit of their occupation or other “outside” interests. Sadly, nothing “outside” ever satisfies their “hunger,” in the long term.
Like the poor farmer in Acres of Diamonds, their search comes up empty-handed and they continue to sleep-walk through life with a sense of emptiness, with a low-grade-fever type of subtle agitation that courses through their bodies, continually feeling frustrated, angry, sad, empty, joyless, resentful and isolated from life, and from themselves. And just like the story, diamonds are waiting to be discovered right in their own back yard. The reality is that the only way to find the gold and diamonds is, as James Allen says, to “dig deep into the mine of the soul.” To go “inside” and stay there for a time; in one’s own company
One of my favorite authors, Jim Rohn, says, “The greatest source of unhappiness comes from inside.” Conversely, that’s also where the greatest (and only) source of happiness comes from.
Instead of searching far and wide, perhaps spend some time every day exploring inside. Instead of expecting something outside to fill you up, learn to fill yourself from within. Make a commitment to read more of the material that will help you discover who you are. Make a decision to grow your self over and above your role and position. As Jim Rohn also says, “What you become directly influences what you get.”
Some questions for self-reflection:
- Do you take time out to explore yours self, your life on a consistent basis? How so?
- Do you take time for meditation, reflection, contemplation, journaling, walking in nature?
- How would you characterize the “gold” in your life? The “diamonds?”
- Do you find your self constantly looking for happiness “out there?” How so?
- Do you read for self-improvement, self-growth and self-development outside of your “business- or profession-related” readings?
- Do you ever feel empty inside, lacking in some way, deficient in well-be-ing and inner peace?
- Are you comfortable being alone in your own company for extended periods of time?
- Do you find silence to be soothing or deafening? How so?
- Do you really, really, really know yourself? How does that question make you feel?
- Are you resistant when it comes to exploring and discovering who you are “inside”? If so, why?
- Growing up, did you, your parents or primary caregivers ever take time out for self-reflection?
(c) 2020, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.
What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that thing is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”
I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.
I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.