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Monthly Archives: July 2020

“Heck, it’s only a touch-up!

31 Friday Jul 2020

Posted by pvajda2013 in Change, Personal Development, Personal Effectiveness, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

butterfly-use2

Bankim Desai  Unsplash

 

Speaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

Just launched – three exciting new products

“Those who would preserve the spirit, must also look after the body to which it is attached.” – Einstein

Many countries require manufacturers to place health warnings on tobacco and alcohol products, and on processed foods containing genetically modified ingredients.

Not too long ago, a news item pointed to the French government’s campaign requiring all photos appearing in advertisements, on product labels and on campaign posters to show a warning if they feature a photograph that’s been digitally enhanced.

Of course, the advertising industry was up in arms saying that such rules undermine the attraction of “perfectly photographed people.”  Many advertisers could care less that confusing an enhanced photo with the real thing is misleading. Those supporting the new rules wanted warning labels to say something to the effect, “Image retouched to modify the physical appearance of this person.” A fine would be imposed for violations.

So, what about my image?

OK, so we’re being taken for a ride by the advertising and marketing industries. We’re pretty much aware of that. However, the deeper question is, “Who am I taking for a ride by the image I put out to folks?”

What image do I want to project to folks and is that image my Real and Authentic Self? Or, am I altering and enhancing my own image to persuade the world that I am who I’m not? Here are four short scenarios around “self-enhanced” images. Does any resonate with you:

First, physically. How do I dress and carry myself? Am I enhancing myself in some way? What do my clothes (and what I wear underneath my clothes), my accessories, and my posture say about me, and how does this image sync up with who I am inside? What kind of persona am I trying to project? And why? Am I appearing successful when I’m not, or unsuccessful when I am? Am I “puffed up” when, in reality, I feel lost, unsafe or insecure?

Second, mentally. Do I enhance my image, for example,  by projecting a walking “Trivial Pursuit” or “Jeopardy Champion” persona, a know-it-all, a faux intellectual who is always spouting facts and others’ ideas but who never seems to have an original thought of my own? Do I use my intellect as a shield against allowing others in?

Third, emotionally. Am I projecting a happy-go-lucky persona when, inside, I am unhappy, sad, depressed, angry, jealous , resentful or ashamed? Am I projecting a quiet, silent-type, a “go-along-to-get-along” accommodating, compliant persona when, inside, I disagree, or want to have my voice and be heard?

Fourth, spiritually. Do I project a chameleon-type personality, espousing others’ values and causes when they go against my inner Core Values? Do I engage in the art of the “put-down,” gossip or bullying even though deep down I know it’s inappropriate? Do I project a “faux” spirituality?

False expectations and living in a parallel world

“The gentlemen in Berlin are gambling on me as If I were a prize hen. I don’t even know whether I’m going to lay another egg.” – Einstein

Enhancing one’s own image is based on false expectations – I’ll gain acceptance, recognition, approval, support, an/or love by projecting the enhanced, “Photoshop” version of me – expectations that, at some point, will lose their allure, their luster and, in the end, reflect the unenhanced “me.” How will I react when that happens – if it hasn’t happened already?

Living a life that is more a minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, person-to-person conflict between my expectations and my reality is the basic source of pain unhappiness. Not only that, living the enhanced life is exhausting – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The enhanced version and the negative

While the French legislators would impose prison terms and fines for people who promote and encourage this digital enhancement, what consequences do you experience from putting out a persona that promotes an unreal and fake you? Be honest.

Choosing to be “enhanced,” rather than authentic and real, we never get to work on ourselves, never get to mature and develop, never get to forward the action of our life � to experience true and meaningful self-fulfillment. And, sadly, the enhanced version says, deep down – and we all know it – “I” don’t exist.” Dead Man Walking was the title of a popular motion picture. Isn’t that who we project when we enhance our “photo” and present it to the world as “me?” And, is Dead (Wo)man Walking the title of the enhanced image that reflects how you live your life?

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • In what ways do you allow your True and Authentic Self to show up? And how do you suppress your True and Authentic Self through enhancement? Truthfully.
  • Would your spouse/partner, co-workers, colleagues and friends describe you as being “authentic?”
  • Are you aware you (sometimes) “enhance” your image? What does enhancing your image get you? How so? Is it sustainable?
  • Do you ever long to be “real” with anyone? What prevents your real-ness? How so?
  • What was being “real” like when you were growing up? Were you around “real” people? What was that like?
  • Do you ever give away your power, your voice or your real-ness? How does that make you feel?
  • Can you envision a world where folks are real, where there’s no need for “enhancing” one’s image?

—————————————————–
(c) 2020, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

Common Good

19 Sunday Jul 2020

Posted by pvajda2013 in Change, Personal Development, Personal Effectiveness, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

photo common good

 

Speaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

Just launched – three exciting new products

What is the Common Good? What values drive the pursuit of the Common Good? What areas are commonly associated with the Common Good. What activities do we normally engage in to pursue the Common Good? What challenges stand in the way of the Common Good?
https://lnkd.in/d-GpZS8


 

(c) 2020, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

Age Quod Agis

11 Saturday Jul 2020

Posted by pvajda2013 in Change, Personal Development, Personal Effectiveness, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

untitled

Speaker page,  Facebook Page, Becoming a Better You book page

Just launched – three exciting new products

“He who is false to present duty breaks a thread in the loom, and will find the flaw when he may have forgotten its cause.”  – Henry Ward Beecher

I recall a Latin phrase we were taught in elementary school – Age quod agis. In essence, the phrase means “do what you do and do it with all of yourself.” When we do what we do with our whole self, it means working from our center, our core i.e, our heart and our soul (not only from the neck up).

When we work from our heart and soul, we’re not talking about some airy-fairy, new-age, “soft,” religious, theological, or subversive approach to work. We are, however, talking about a deeper approach to work – what might be called a spiritual approach.

This deeper approach to work focuses on excellence, ethics and fairness. This deeper approach to work asks questions – sometimes tough, challenging and uncomfortable questions, such as:

How can business promote sustainability and the environment?
What is a fair and just compensation, wage or bonus?
When are outsourcing, downsizing, and layoff efforts justified?
How does business promote the family and/or social responsibility?
How can I find my true calling?
What is  “Enlightened Economics?”
How can we restore trust and integrity in the workplace?
Can our workplaces be more ethical and humane?
Does work have to be dull, boring, routine and meaningless?
Is the separation of spirituality and the boardroom a “given?
Can people do the “right thing” without “management control?”
Why do so many, when they reach the top of the ladder, find it resting against the wrong building?
How do we respond to unethical conduct?
How do we make money and meaning?
How do we resist the “bribe and kickback” way of doing business?
How do we avoid gossip and bullying and demonstrate humility and respect?
What will I do with the rest of my life after retirement?

Warren Buffet said, “I’ve seen a lot of not-very-good human beings succeed in business; I wish it were otherwise.””Now, there are probable many Warren Buffet-type-thinkers among us who would agree. Moreover, with the ups and downs in the economy, many folks are discovering not only are they doing just fine with less, and being happier, but now wonder why they needed more in the first place.

Age quod agis is about integrating spirituality with business. There’s no question people are becoming more introspective about who they are and how they are at work given the incidents of unethical, immoral, and illegal shenanigans we read and hear about daily.

Given an unhealthy, unhappy, fear-based, and worrisome workplace environment many folks find themselves in, the creative energy that flows from the heart and soul might just be one catalyst that can transform today’s workplace into a healthier, more engaging, more ethical place to spend the majority of our waking hours.

What we do with our “whole” self
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Research and self-reports show more and more workers are seeking calm and well-be-ing in the midst of the storm by “going inside” and reassessing their values and motivations, and discovering that when they come to work (or life) from a deeper, non-egoic place, they experience a greater sense of meaning, fulfillment, and well be-ing than what they formerly experienced when driven by ego-based needs and wants, driven by greed and speed.

Many are finding that spiritual and humanistic assets are becoming greater desires than wealth and material gain and serve as greater psycho-emotional supports than sustaining an “image” or “persona.”

Coming to work with our whole self means focusing on “who you really are” – your being and your character – within your team, your group, your silo, your organization and in your civic and social community.

Coming to work with our whole self means consciously and proactively dealing with the “tension” between spirituality and spiritual values, and work.

Coming to work with our whole self means choosing to take the time to look up from our spreadsheets to consciously focus on people and values, to speak out for what’s right, and by making an effort to act with compassion.

Personal discontent
In today’s workplace, constant competition, fear, vigilance, gossip, bullying and stress are leading to personal unhappiness, dissatisfaction and dis-ease – not a very productive way to live life at work.

Coming to work with one’s whole self fosters calm and provides a perspective that gives one an edge which is a genuine resource in overcoming angst, agitation, anxiety and aggression. Coming to work with a heart-soul-mind-driven focus provides mental, emotional, physical and psychological balance and harmony – a balance that supports a workplace characterized by “we” instead of “I” vs. “you,” and engenders a strong ethic of personal responsibility for, and self-management of, “who I am” and “how I am” at work.

Discernment
Coming to work with one’s whole self fosters a spiritual practice known as “discernment” – a way of quieting the mind and moving away from the constant din and chatter – internal and external – and allowing the wisdom of the “unknown” (intuitive “right knowing,” “right understanding” and “right action”) to arise from within instead of always forcing our “logical-contrastive -comparative” mind to answer questions and find solutions which are often quick, simple, easy and…wrong.

Dealing with people
The most intangible and complex element in any business equation is the people. Age quod agis means dealing with people by first dealing with yourself; as Socrates suggests, “Know thyself.” Having a firm grasp of one’s core values, inner motivations and purpose for being on the planet, coupled with a emotional maturity are what allow one to show up in integrity, authentically and real.

Age quod agis, when combined with effective leadership and management thinking, creates a high-performing workplace where ethical behavior, trust and trustworthiness, respect and meaning inform one’s day-to-day do-ings and be-ings.

Age quod agis means acting with wisdom, discernment, integrity, empathy and compassion – qualities that emanate from one’s deeper self – qualities that are not co-opted by greed or speed. Age quod agis means doing the right thing, from moment to moment, with your whole self.

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Do you check your heart, soul and values at the door when you show up at work?
  • Do you deal with the “whole person” in your relationships with others at work (and at home, and play)?
  • Do you ever take time out during your workday to be quiet (walk mindfully, reflect, meditate, breathe…)?
  • Are greed and speed the two major driving forces at your workplace? How so?
  • Do you feel others see you at work as a “whole” person or simply as a “function” (how about at home)?
  • Do you feel workplace decisions are generally ethical and fair? What about your workplace decisions and choices?
  • Does your organization give attention to social and civic concerns, corporate social responsibility?
  • Do people commonly do the “right thing,” even when no one is watching?
  • Does your organization take your family into account in some way, shape or form? If not, how does that make you feel?
  • Does your organization make efforts to reduce the dull and routine and add meaning to work. Do you?
  • Do “not-very-good human beings” succeed in your workplace. How so?
  • Can you envision a workplace where the Age quod agis approach to work is “business as usual?”

—————————————————–
(c) 2020, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.

What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”

I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.

I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com

You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrueNorthPartnering

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