In the midst of the current political, financial, environmental, and workplace uncertainty, and upheaval and upset many are experiencing these days, it’s not surprising to feel a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Worry has replaced wonder; anxiety has replaced exhilaration.
There’s a story of a man on a galloping horse who passes a bystander. The bystander yells, “Where are you going?” to which the rider responds, “I have no idea; ask my horse.”
Mired in a sea of uncertainty, confusion and overwhelm, we turn to others for help. Experts who come in various shapes and forms, espousing varied hypotheses and theories, can’t agree. No one seems to know what will happen, really happen, a year, or two, or three or more down the road.
When we orient to our world from a place of fear, our orienting response takes the form of flight, fight, or freeze – we run away from our problems and challenges, we fight, often unsuccessfully, to reduce or eliminate our challenges or problems; or we stand still like a deer in the headlights, paralyzed and perplexed. More than a few are dazed and despairing.
The meaning of experience.
The fact is our problems and challenges have much to teach us, about ourselves. Even deep-seated trauma has a message – if we choose to stop, explore, inquire and ask for the teaching. That’s a huge “if.”
Encased in fear, malaise and uncertainly, we have two choices: (1) do nothing, wring our hands and hope that someone or something will take care of us and wait, or (2) ask why such events are happening FOR me, and seek the teachings/learning that comes from honestly, sincerely, and self-responsibly confronting the issues standing before us. There can be no light without darkness.
Getting lost can show us the way.
If we choose, getting lost allows us to open the door to the darkness, the unknown, and seek answers, guidance and intuitive responses to our questions. After all, we came here from the darkness and one day we’ll return to the darkness. So, why not now?
Our ego’s deep need for control is what keeps us fearful and afraid. We can choose to bypass our ego, our conditioned mind, and move towards the uncertainty which is where we find answers, the real answers to our challenges and dilemmas. The unknown does not have to be scary. Only if we choose to make it so.
Embrace the unknown
One of the benefits of welcoming and embracing the unknown is that the experience takes us out of our own rigid box and supports us to change and transform. Clarity and insight often come from confusion, if we get out of our own way and remain open to the journey of discovery.
In these dark days of gloom, fear, upset and discomfort, we can resolve, if we choose, to embrace the mystery, to surrender to uncertainty, and be open to not knowing – from a place of curiosity, excitement, and openness, rather than cringe from a place of anger, terror, angst, hate or vengeance.
There’s beauty in the dark.
There is a certainty, balance and coherence in the unknown and there is a wealth of strength, courage and steadfastness in our own soul that supports our growth and development by seeking what we don’t know, if we choose. This is the essence of true change and transformation – moving consciously through our insecurities. Becoming comfortable with our discomfort.
Getting lost is what allows us to see the truth not only of our self, but of our relationship to our work, our world, and to others.
Endings are always another beginning; darkness never exists without light.
Where is your horse taking you?
Some questions for self-reflection:
- How are currents events affecting you – financially, emotionally, mentally, psychologically and spiritually?
- Every cloud has a silver lining; every silver lining has a cloud. Which is your orientation to life and living? Why?
- How do you commonly react to being/feeling “lost” or experiencing uncertainty?
- Are you generally a fearful person? If so, why do you think that is?
- Are you one who always needs to have all the answers?
- Would others describe you as a controlling person?
- Do you ever lose yourself? What’s that like for you?
- At the top of a roller coaster, you can scream with excitement or scream with fear? Which would you do? Why?
- What was “being lost” like for you, your parents, or your family when you were growing up?
(c) 2020, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and True North Partnering. All rights in all media reserved.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this reading with you and I hope you find it insightful and useful. Perhaps you’ll share this with others, post it on a bulletin board, and use it to generate rich and rewarding discussion.
What is the one thing that is keeping you from feeling successful, happy, confident, in control or at peace as you live your life – at work, at home, at play or in relationship? Maybe you know what that “thing” is…maybe you don’t. You just have a feeling that something has to change, whether or not you embrace that change. And how would that change support you to show up as a “better you?”
I’m available to guide you to create relationships that reflect honesty, integrity, authenticity, trust, and respect whether at work or outside of work. I support you to focus on the interpersonal skills that enable you to relate to others with a high level of personal and professional satisfaction – unhampered by personal inconsistencies, beliefs, “stories,” and behaviors that create barriers to a harmonious, pleasant, conscious, compatible, healthy and productive relationship.
I coach by phone, Skype and in person. For more information, 770-804-9125, www.truenorthpartnering.com or pvajda(at)truenorthpartnering.com
You can also follow me on Twitter: @petergvajda.